Glass Squash Court to be build on moon
WORLD EXCLUSIVE By Avril Winner Dateline: April 2009NASA TO FUND AMAZING SQUASH PARTNERSHIP
TOP secret plans have been revealed today to hold a squash tournament on THE MOON.
This extraordinary story is the culmination of a two-year partnership between promoters SquashUK and NASA. A wealthy sponsor has come forward to fund a special rocket flight to transport an all-glass court to the moon.
A second rocket is being constructed to fly players and spectators the 238,900 miles to the most astonishing tournament in sporting history.
The multi-million-dollar project had been kept under wraps until a squash-playing construction worker at NASA leaked the information to American news agencies.
At first the US media got the story wrong, believing that scientists had found a way to grow squash (the vegetable) on the water-free surface of the moon. However, NASA clarified the situation by revealing plans for this sensational combination of sport and science.
Squash fans who love star-gazing are usually restricted to peering through the glass walls of the court to see their heroes in action. Now they will have the opportunity to fly beyond the earth's atmosphere to watch this astonishing event.
Promoters SquashUK are believed to have struck a multi-million-dollar TV deal to film the whole process, which will include training a special crew of astronauts to erect the glass court on the lunar surface.
Scientists have identified the Sea of Tranquility, believed to be the flat-*test*-('") area on the lunar surface and the scene of the first lunar landing, as the ideal site to build the court. Once the court has been completed, an air-tight module will be constructed around it to house 500 spectators who will pay 200,000 dollars each to enjoy the experience.
The building will eventually become the moon's first hotel and docking station for tourists and scientists who are intending to mine the lunar surface for minerals which are in short supply on earth.
One NASA official joked: "There should be no shortage of graphite, the main material used in the construction of today's squash rackets."
The official added that top-secret -*test*-('")s have been carried out in a weightless environment to -*test*-('") the movement of players and the playing characteristics of a normal squash ball.
He added: “The absence of gravity on the moon's surface means that the ball will travel even faster than it does now.”
He revealed that John White, who has been recorded striking a squash ball at 172mph, has increased that speed to more than 250mph under lunar -*test*-('")ing conditions.
He said that the lucrative NASA -*test*-('")ing contract was the main reason for White moving his family to the USA from Nottingham, England.
The astonishing plan to hold squash on the moon was the result of a chance meeting in New York between SquashUK directors Alan Thatcher and Simon Scott and a NASA scientist who was a spectator at the annual Derek Sword Trophy match between London and New York.
During a conversation, the scientist revealed that a lunar community was being constructed for scientists and engineers who are being sent to the moon and Thatcher suggested building a lunar gym and squash court to help them keep fit.
Scott, an experienced 3D graphic artist, produced the images (reproduced here) to support the feasibility of the project and to convince NASA to confirm funding for the project.
The NASA official added: “It sounded crazy at first, but the more we discussed the project the more it made sense.
“The fact that Forbes magazine had rated squash as the best sport for fitness was a significant factor in our decision to support the project.
“NASA staff have certainly enjoyed -*test*-('")ing the squash facilities and one of our leading astronauts commented that this proves that squash is light years ahead of all other racket sports. We certainly endorse that remark and look forward to this unique sporting occasion helping us to develop sports tourism in space.”
WORLD EXCLUSIVE By Avril Winner Dateline: April 2009